Monsters & Other Things ♪

Curiosity took my childhood away from me. Monsters stole my innocence. Not just the monsters under my bed. The ones that lived all around me. You don't know it until you're older, but the monsters are around all of us, every single day. All of the time. They hide in plain sight, most of the time you never even see their terror coming. It's just one of those things, it won't change. They won't stop hiding, they won't stop fooling us. No, they'll always be around, slowly killing all the beauty, and eating away at the things that make us smile. It's a bittersweet situation, to me. In my opinion, there should be a balance of good, and bad floating around. Only now, it seems like the bad things are taking over. It's hard to decide between the two sometimes, I get that. I don't see any point in wondering why other people don't think the same way that you do. People are different, that's just how it works. Getting angry at a person for not thinking the same way you do, or being on the same level is a sad waste of time. You might as well stand in front of a person, repeating the words “Be just like me”....over and over again, and expecting it to make a real difference. The monsters are like that. Some of them think the right thing to do is to bully you, and make you feel stupid for having your own mind. It's a poison that's hard to avoid. Mostly because it runs through so many people's veins, almost like it was their blood. It's kinda' like a song that you hate hearing, but you can't stop listening to it, because it's always playing. There isn't always an escape. When there is a way out, it always seems so temporary.

 For me, shutting down always seems to be my escape. I can't help it anymore, it's become a habit of mine. It's the safest thing to do sometimes, even if some people get shut out in the process. It doesn't mean I love them less, or that they've done anything to hurt me purposely. The wall I put up just keeps a certain kind of pain away. A pain that seems to last for days on end. It sits in the pit of your stomach, and grows until it turns into heartbreak, and resentment. It feels foreign, yet familiar and it makes your head hurt. I know I'm not alone on this, not that most people would ever admit it. It's a lot less complicated than I'm making it sound, I know that. I just tend to use more words then necessary sometimes. Another random habit of mine.

 I'm not saying that getting your opinion out there is a waste of time. It's what I'm doing right now. I'm not trying to rain on anybody's parade. I'm just tired of the monsters. I see them, hear them, and deal with them on a daily basis, just like all of you do. That's why when I create my own little bubbles, my own worlds, and personal escapes in my head....there aren't any monsters. It's just me, the colors I like to look at, and the music that I love to hear. It's always the best music too. The songs that really know how you feel in that moment. The songs you listen to, that actually listen back. Sounds too good to be true, I know, but those songs exist, and if you haven't found one yet, you will. You just have to be patient. If you can't find a song like that, just ask me. I'll find one for you.